Patience is a virtue....

....which is a completely useless and frustrating proverb when it is a virtue that I don't happen to possess.

I am currently 39 weeks and 5 days done.  I know that my due date is on Thursday yet I feel "overdue".  (This is possibly influenced by the fact that in Flagstaff supposedly an average pregnancy is around 39 weeks.)  Somehow I managed to convince myself that little baby girl would have arrived already.  In fact, for a while I was worried that she would come before I had my loose ends at work all tied up, which was both exciting and nerve wracking.  So last Thursday I finally ( and frantically) finished all my major goals, felt good about it, and was ready for her to emerge. Unfortunately, I had been using her (and Thursday) as a deadline to work towards for so long that I forgot that it wasn't actually a deadline. And, as it turns out, apparently Aspen girl didn't get the memo AT ALL (sigh).

I've had some contractions (yeah!) that start, but eventually they always stop.  She hasn't dropped, I have no idea if I am dilated or effaced, and there has been no mucus plug/bloody show (if those terms are unfamiliar to you, feel free to search google images...but be prepared, it ain't pretty!).  In short, I am a tad concerned that Aspen is so cozy that she doesn't particular want to emerge ever!

People, let me tell you, if she goes past Thursday (her due date) I am seriously going to need your help to distract me from the waiting.  Send me bizarre websites, ask me for favors such as looking up tidbits of information, come up with fun activities, etc.  Anything to take my mind off of when she will arrive!

A...L...M...O...S...T THERE!

It seems crazy to think that as of tomorrow Aspen will be 39 weeks done cooking.  I am ready for her to arrive any day now.  We have pretty much everything we need here, most things at work are wrapped up to a spot where I feel good about them, and I am definitely rather uncomfortable; therefore, it's GO TIME baby girl!

Physically the last month has been very interesting.  I did not think it was possible for my belly to get so huge! I am sleeping okay (I still get up to pee several times a night, but that is old hat now) and am relatively mobile (although, I have transitioned to a full on waddle).  In fact, the hardest physical thing to do is turn over in bed at night.  Something about being prone really hinders my ability to move...comparing me to a turtle that has been flipped over on its back is actually not a horrible analogy. Additionally, a few stretch marks have finally shown up on my belly (sigh), although truthfully they aren't that bad yet (knock on wood!) and I am trying to think of them proudly as battle scars. (Similar to how as a child I was oddly proud of my scars, scrapes, and scabs.  They meant I was doing things!) The one really annoying thing that has happened is that in the last week I have started retaining water like a camel and the resultant swelling in my hands and wrists makes my hands go numb at night.  However, soon that will go away, very soon!

Several people have asked me if I have been having contractions and I haven't felt like I could definitively say "yes", but after todays doctors appointment now I can!  Previously, I have had moments of cramping, sometimes in a sort of wavelike fashion, times when it feels like my whole belly tightens, and times where it felt like there was a lot of pressure, but there is so many different sensations going on that I have had a hard time saying "yup, that's it!".  (Being somewhat of a skeptic in general doesn't help with this.) However, today I got proof...yeah! I had been nervous because baby girl hadn't been moving as much yesterday and today so they decided to hook me up to a fetal monitor for about 15 minutes where they measure the baby's heart rate and they measure uterus activity.  Well, not only was Aspen completely fine, but apparently I am having some small uterus contractions (even though I can't feel them). Double yeah!

Everything else is just a waiting game of Aspen deciding when she wants to emerge.  Next Thursday is my actual due date, but it could take up to a week longer (my doctor doesn't like to go past 41 weeks).  However, it is very exciting to know that NO MATTER WHAT, within 2 weeks we will have her in our arms!

Full Term!

At 37 weeks done Aspen and I have made it to full term! Granted, in all likelihood there is still a few weeks to go, but it is kind of exciting to know that if I went into labor now there would be no fighting it...we would just have the baby!

We will now start having doctor's appointments every week.  It is still kind of exciting to have an appointment, but they have definitely fallen into a predictable routine.  The standard procedure starts when Jamie and I arrive at the office and I promptly hit the restroom to pee in a cup.  Then we wait until we are called in where someone takes my weight, blood pressure, and asks me about movement.  After that our doctor comes in, looks over the chart, asks us how we are doing, asks if we have any questions (I usually bring a notebook full of questions, but they have diminished considerably in number as we get farther along), measures my fundal height, listens to the heartbeat, and that's about it!  I am actually grateful that our visits are so straightforward and short, because in general that means things are going well.

Jamie and I are trying to wrap up the last few things that must get done before baby girl arrives.  We have installed the carseat (check).  We have acquired the bare essentials for her thermoregulating (i.e. clothes), sleeping, eating, and pooping (check). We have mostly finished the baby room (check). There are still some things to do (like finish packing the hospital bag), but we are getting really close.

Since the baby room is mostly done, I thought it might be fun to post some pics.  I don't know how much time she will actually spend in here in the beginning, but eventually it will get used!

For our tour we will start at the Southeast corner of the room

Panning to the South wall (and down to) see the crib and the rug.

The West wall above the end the crib.  Jamie and I had a lot of fun painting these decorations.

Swinging the other direction from the sitting chair to the East wall

Zooming in on the changing table with diapers

Zooming in on wall art made at the baby shower.  
The Aspen leaves are thumbprints of guests.

Lastly, the North wall

35 weeks!

Baby girl is currently 35 weeks and 3 days old!  It is getting closer and closer to the day when she will grace us with her appearance.  The real question is, when it comes to timeliness, who will little Aspen take after? Will she arrive in a whirlwind, impatient, rather disorderly, but on time (or early) like her mother? Will she take her time, be calm, perhaps do a spot of tidying before she vacates, preferring to be late than rushed, like her father?  Or will she somehow magically combine the best features of both? I suppose only time will tell.

I have been reading (well, sporadically reading) a child development book for fun, it is called "The Yale Child Study Center Guide To Understanding Your Child." I don't know if I like everything about the book, but there are certainly some mental gems that I have been able to pluck out of it and mull over.  

So far one of the more intriguing concepts that the book has discussed is the challenge that all parents face to mentally reconcile the child they have imagined with the child they have actually acquired.  Jamie and I have both already envisioned aspects of who our little girl is going to be, both from birth and beyond.  I don't think we can help it, or that any burgeoning parent can, it is part of connecting and dreaming and wondering. And there is probably some ego (the book points out, and if I am to be honest I have to accept) to those imaginings.  Traits we like about ourselves or our partners are included in the image.  Or alternatively, traits we don't like are carefully edited or erased from it. It seems to me that the challenging part is to recognize that this colliding of fantasy and reality doesn't happen just at birth when we meet our daughter, but it probably will happen again and again and again as we all grow together as a family. Sometimes it is daunting to think about!

However, as long as we are still able to indulge in fantasy, here is the probable (but not necessarily actual) changes and developments that baby girl is currently  undergoing:

• She is over 5 lbs and may be 5.5 lbs!

• From this point on she will probably gain .5 lbs a week (and I'll probably gain 1 lb a week, I don't really know what happens to that "extra" .5 lbs….this is probably going to be the stage where my face gets really round just like when I was a little kid.)

• She has learned to blink and she keeps her eyes closed when she is asleep and wide open when she is awake.  

• Her tiny fingernails have probably reached the tips of the fingers.

• She has been head down at all of our appointments, but she is definitely still rolling side to side.  The other day she must have been very restless because she flipped from left to right to left again within 15 minutes. This is a very cool, but not necessarily comfortable, sensation.

• Apparently my uterus may actually be up under my ribcage by now…given to how internally squished I feel and where I can feel her moving around I think this is probably true.

• She is big enough that she is probably no longer floating and instead is resting on my uterus.

And lastly, here is her current growth chamber:

Red in tooth and claw...also known as "Silver linings: at least I'm not a zebra".

At 34 weeks I am definitely entering a stage of pregnancy that isn't quite as comfortable as, say, 10 weeks ago.  I feel big, awkward, it is uncomfortable to roll over, and half the time I am ripped out of sleep in the morning cursing "fuck fuck fuck fuck" because of a horrific calf cramp (I really hate waking up that way). Not that all is bad, and some days are definitely better or worse than others. (Incidentally, today was a great day!) It is just that what the word "comfortable" means is changing every day, and I suspect it will continue to change as baby girl's arrival gets closer and closer.

However, I have been thinking a lot about this and have come to a major conclusion: it could be worse. I could be a pregnant zebra.

Or Ibex.

Or deer.

What is so bad, you ask, about being a pregnant zebra, ibex, or deer? It seems to me that the extra big downer in their pregnancy situation is that there are other organisms out there trying to eat them.  Unless something goes terribly wrong I will not have to try to run and jump, fleeing for my life from a very hungry lion. In fact, there is really nothing in my life that currently requires me to maintain any semblance of nimbleness, agility, or speed.  

Yes, my big silver lining (which does actually make me feel a lot better and cheers me up quite a bit), is that while I may be pregnant and uncomfortable, at least I am not pregnant, uncomfortable, and food.  Hurray!

Is there any pregnant mammal that has it any better? Maybe, just maybe, one...

As an orca there aren't to many things that are dangerous for me (a few, but not a ton,) and water would free me from the effects of gravity. Sounds pretty good! Of course, the downside is that now I have to catch my own food, hmmm....

A gourd just isn't shaped the same as a baby's bottom!

Several months ago Jamie and I decided that we were going to use cloth diapers.  Since then we have talked a lot about it, researched it, and started to make the plunge into acquiring the necessary materials.  I actually alternate between being really excited and rather overwhelmed.  Sometimes it seems very straightforward and other times it seems like there are potential snafu's lurking in the bushes (what if I can't put them on right? what if I get detergent build up and need to 'strip' them? what if I can never figure out night time diapering? what if they keep repelling liquids even though I've washed them a billion times? etc etc).

Whenever I feel panic start to build I go and look at my diaper covers and breath a big relaxing sigh because they are just that darn cute! (I also go and pull up my baby budget spreadsheet and double sigh, because if we stick with it, and don't go hog wild on buying cute diapers, they can be pretty economical as well.) To start out we are probably going to mostly use prefolds with covers but we will also try a few all-in-ones, and a few fitteds with covers, to see what we really end up liking.

Also, to make them seem less daunting I decided that I should practice putting them on.  Unfortunately I don't really own anything that is a good "baby" replica that is easily accessible. (Jamie and I both have stuffed animals from our childhood, but they are buried deep in the recesses of the closet.)  Therefore I have resorted to diapering Jamie's dried gourd.  It makes an mediocre substitute, but better than nothing!

Step1: Gather the necessities (in this case prefold, snappi, cover, and "baby").

Step 2: Successfully wrap the "baby's" bottom with the prefold, affix with a snappi

Step 3. Add waterproof cover...and voila you are done! What a beautiful "baby" bottom! :)

Baby girl and family update:
Baby girl is now 32 weeks done (tomorrow starts the first day of week 33).  It is a little crazy to think that probably within 7 or 8 weeks we will be holding her in our arms, and at the latest 9 weeks! (My doctor doesn't tend to let her patients go past 41 weeks...but lets hope it doesn't come to that anyways.) There is so much to do before then, both in getting ready for her and just life in general! For baby girl her main job in the next 8 weeks is to plump up and keep practicing her baby skills in utero (inflating/deflating her lungs, swallowing, sucking, etc).  It is hard for me to imagine that she may be not quite doubling her size before birth because I feel huge already...how the heck is another 3-4 lbs going to fit inside my abdomen! More and more my belly is getting in the way of simple tasks.  The other day while teaching I dropped my pointer stick on the floor, stared at it waaaay down there, and let out a big involuntary sigh.  My students all laughed and one of them picked it up for me...whew!


Future mommy parental unit: huge growth chamber!

Future daddy parental unit: A very excited Jamie who takes it all in stride!  He is also currently in full beard glory; however, no matter how hard he tries I don't think he will be able to get his beard as big as my belly. ;)

30 week Baby Girl Update

Baby Girl Update

Well we are now 30 weeks done and are starting out our first day at Week 31. It is a little crazy to think that in about 10 weeks we will FINALLY get to meet her!  Jamie and I are both probably more fascinated at staring at new baby's then either of us ever have been in our whole life.  We end up turning to eachother and saying "We're going to have one of those!". Here are some fun factoids on baby girl:

• Baby girl is probably approaching 3 lbs
• Her adrenal glands (which sit on top of the kidneys) are producing a hormone that will cause a cascade in my body that should ultimately end in prolactin being released by my anterior pituitary (found in the brain).  This is important because prolactin stimulates milk production.  So basically baby girl's body is telling my body to get its act in gear!
• Her brain can now direct rhythmic breathing and control temperature.
• Her hearing is well developed enough that she can turn her head in the womb to follow sounds that she hears.
• She is probably going to start stealing even more calcium from me…the adorable lil' parasite!  I actually find it very reassuring to know that she will just take whatever she needs, even if it is to my detriment.  Fortunately, the one clear "craving" I've seemed to develop during this pregnancy is milk, so hopefully she won't have to resort to stealing calcium from me.  I've been consuming just shy of a carton a week!
• She is adding fat and will continue to do so from here on out since she is probably going to be more than doubling her weight in the next 10 weeks or so.

Jamie and Cinn Update

We are doing well, although occasionally we fell overwhelmed by all the things we feel like we need to get done before baby girl's arrival. However, an excellent remedy for feeling overwhelmed for us is going outside! The past weekend Jamie worked on the cold frame (a glass and wood case you can start growing veggies in outside when it is cold) and I hung laundry outside (my all time favorite chore...it almost doesn't count as a chore).  Puttering around outside is so good for us!

A few weeks ago during Spring Break Jamie and I had a friend's wedding to attend east of Phoenix so we went camping for one night and then stayed in a hotel with friends for another two nights just north of Lake Roosevelt. I was a tad nervous about the camping because I thought I wouldn't sleep well, but it actually wasn't a problem at all!

Our campsite next to Sycamore Creek.  At it's deepest it is about 6" deep.  However we both sat in it when it was hot and happily drank our rootbeers!

We slept without a tent, just threw down a tarp and some sleeping bags.

One of my favorite parts about camping was the beautiful chorus of frogs and crickets that we listened to at night.  Between the noise and the full moon you would've thought sleeping would be tricky, but we both just knocked out! I used the "movie" feature of my camera to record a clip of the cacophony...enjoy!